After our divorce, the first few months was amicable and peaceful, until he changed and became absent to his daughters, they were suffering and so was I. Not until recently, I began understanding why my life was trickling downward. I realized that the day Mayhem invited the devil into our home, he finally took his invitation. The essence of hurt, anger loss, weakness and the lack of faith I had in God was enough for the devil to begin his work of destruction for me and my girls. I no longer had the power of faith in me. I lost my faith for all of us, for Mayhem, for my girls and for me and when things started to spiral down, the house we lived in was darkening and things started happening like most of my appliances was breaking down, walls were peeling, floods were occurring, my car was totaled twice, my health started declining, my jobs went from three to two, to no job. Mayhem was destroying us thru his venom, his evil, negative lies and his abandonment to his girls. I knew that he had help and I knew that he himself was in trouble. He was not the man we knew, because the man we knew would not treat us in an all of a sudden evil and negligent way, but he was influenced by the devil himself and he was oblivious to the pain he caused us, he was a murderer of everything true.
Thanksgiving of 2009, would have been their first thanksgiving with their dad as the girls were going to spend it with his mother. But After several emails I sent to him he either avoided or responded with excuses, I knew something was up. My girls and I saw his mom as we celebrated Alex's 16th birthday at her apartment, she asked me to make sure the girls spent Thanksgiving with her as she was returning back to Puerto Rico. Finally, after several attempts, he and I agreed to the girls being with him and his mom. On the day of Thanksgiving, he never showed. Instead, my girls waited and waited at my aunts house. They kepted asking me, " Mom, what happened to dad? Grandma is probably waiting for us." In my attempt to have our girls spend time with their grandmother, I called his mother and told her I would take the girls but there was a pause. She said to me "don wordy avbout it, Mayhem will bring dem anoda day." Not to worry about it? My gut told me otherwise. he was there and he was not alone, meanwhile our girls were waiting, they were disappointed. How could another woman with children allow this to occur? The juvenile actions taken to protect themselves, and for what? to break the hearts of children? My children. I thought to myself, how fucking disrespectful to insult me in thinking that I did not know what was going on. Why would an ex-mother-in-law allow that to happen to her grandchildren, I guess the apple did not fall far from the tree. Why would a father do that to his children and why would his trick think that it would be ok to do this to another family, did she not want the attention to be taken away from her and her own children (not related to Mayhem)? Holy shit! This shit just got real! Do they not understand on how the Law of Karma works? You do not mess with one of God's children, and that included mine.
I had Mayhem's number and each time Mayhem got busted in his calculated lies and hid from his children, that's when he amazingly rose from the dead and became that victim, making me his spawn for his excuses of why he wasn't seeing his daughters. It was becoming ugly. He continued to call attempt to take to court, had lawyers call me, I mean he worked so hard in wanting the judge to find me guilty of something when all he had to do is see his children. The money and efforts he took each time he his guilt knawed at him for not being that loving, consistant father was killing him, it was eating him up inside but he chose to transfer his anger from himself to me, he himself could not live with the fact that he has become exactly what hesaid he would never be, but he could not take that responsibility, he had to put it on me. As a result, he paid for a lawyer to harrass me, so he could see his girls. I would tell his lawyer that I was confused because he was the one that was absent from their lives, I never once told them they could not see there father. But our conversation was not a pretty one as she was harassing me, I was not going to allow some lawyer who is getting paid probably $250 an hour or more by Mayhem who needed a body guard to bark at me. Hell No! I felt almost like a superhero changing from this angry mom to a strong advocate. This lawyer never seen me coming. She thought I was one of these mean woman that was going to shiver from her dragon breath. In the end I told her, "If you think that I am one of those street women that is going to bow down to you because your threats to take me to court, you got something coming, let me explain something, your methods do not influence me what so ever, Tell Mayhem to take responsibility and see his children and stop being a fucking drama queen! The lawyer was quiet, she hung up and I took a deep breath,, Shit was getting uglier by the minute!
One night I received a message on my yahoo account and it was my ex-sister-in-law telling me she was getting married. I congratulated her and asked on why she has not shared that with her brother. "What are you talking about? He is going to walk me down the isle." I proceeded to tell her that according to Mayhem, he was not speaking to her nor did he know what was going on in her life. I told her that he and I just went to see a college in Rhode Island with our girls and when we asked about her, he said "If I didn't speak to her while we were married, what makes you think I speak to her now?" She said, "Miranda, we have been planning my wedding for around a year, I was reaching out to you because I had to ask his trick if her daughter could be in my wedding because you did not allow your girls!" why would you do that? no matter what, we are still family." At this time I was infuriated! His lies were creating chaos and I didn't not understand why he would leave his children out of his life. I explained to her that I had no idea and if she still wanted the girls to be apart of her day, that I was okay with it.
The next morning, the girls went into Jade's room closed the door and asked me not to come in the room. I knew they were going to confront him about it. Meanwhile, my ex sister-Inlaw called me to ask if I had spoken to him because he was texting her on the other line threatening her to fix the story with his girls or he was not going to walk her down the aisle. I knew how important this was for Maria as she was another victim of Mayhem who really never showed compassion or love towards his sister. She always felt emotionally abandoned by her dad, her mom and within the last few years, her brother Mayhem. She was hungry for his love and attention. The girls and I frequently visited her. She and I always had a love hate relationship but in my eyes, family was family and I wanted the girls to know their aunt and cousins. She was fun to be with, she was creative and had alot of love to give, but she was lost in her own emotions. She could not let go of her past demons, she was always running from them. I cared about her and so did my family, thats why when she told me of his threat, I knew on how much it meant for her for him to be at her wedding. I knew that he meant what he said to her. I loved her and wanted her to have her day peacefully and if just for one moment, I wanted her to be happy with her brother, yet my daughters pleading to their dad to tell them the truth about having his trick's child in their only paternal aunt's wedding. He came up with a last minute excuse telling them that it was a last minute decision. They were so hurt. They knew he was lying. I tried to walk into the room and calm them down but Alex kicked me out. Jade took over the phone, thinking she can get her dad to tell her the truth as she always had this special connection with him. I sat outside the door with the house phone on one ear listening to my ex sister-in-law crying about her nieces hurts and pains and her worry about her brother not being part of her day while my other ear was listening to my youngest begging her dad to be truthful and crying out to him that he no longer thought of them first. I fell unto the floor, told Maria that I was sorry but I had to hang up. I cried out quietly to God to help my daughters, to give them the strength that I did not have for them as I was angered by his dreadful evil lies. It felt like a loss. Like someone the girls and I whom we loved dearly just died. Our day was ruined and it took all night for all of us to calm down, our day was ruined, I could not give the girls a reason for his behaviors, his lies, his change in priorities. To think that he thought he could live two lives, I may have been taken as a fool, but not my daughters, they knew that the man they always looked up to was long gone and they were lost in their own emotions, confused and angered all at the same time. Their dad no longer saw them as his priority, they were no longer his primary reason for living, they were just there..........he's gone ma, he's gone.
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